i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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