Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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