Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
