Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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