I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
be right there i have to get my cape
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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