Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
