Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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