why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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