i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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