just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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