I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
