didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize