just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
