I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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