I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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