I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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