is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
