No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
