So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
