Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
