Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
