How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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