Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
