I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
