I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
