quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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