instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
