i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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