Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
