good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize