Plan B is the new Plan A
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
