I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
how drunk are you?
Several
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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