He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize