As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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