Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
