garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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