Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol. http://tfl.nu/vdrg

Replies (14) Good night (4228) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".

(917): View more from New York City

I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag". (917): I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag. http://tfl.nu/7xie

Replies (57) Good night (1193) Bad night (11219)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on http://tfl.nu/v7m7

Replies (41) Good night (6663) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do http://tfl.nu/w5tc

Replies (12) Good night (486) Bad night (5770) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur

Replies (16) Good night (8732) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook? http://tfl.nu/084o

Replies (16) Good night (3777) Bad night (1810) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(626): View more from California

she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(626): she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo http://tfl.nu/loae

Replies (18) Good night (9859) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality. http://tfl.nu/6ws6

Replies (26) Good night (1343) Bad night (3796) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor. http://tfl.nu/i4di

Replies (15) Good night (890) Bad night (2855) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(504): View more from Louisiana

Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(504): Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine. http://tfl.nu/uqy7

Replies (13) Good night (2003) Bad night (2512) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(204): View more from Manitoba

at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(204): at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess. http://tfl.nu/unws

Replies (6) Good night (2146) Bad night (996)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.

(1-845): View more from New York

she is way to in-touch with her childhood

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside. (1-845): she is way to in-touch with her childhood http://tfl.nu/m5xk

Replies (11) Good night (2104) Bad night (1017)
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment. http://tfl.nu/jokz

Replies (3) Good night (1956) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(719): View more from Colorado

I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(719): I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume. http://tfl.nu/djze

Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (165) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!" http://tfl.nu/4gma

Replies (2) Good night (261) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: