love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...