Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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