You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize