Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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