i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
