Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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