please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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