thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize