They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
