Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
