You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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