I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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