the condom got lost in my hair
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
