just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
