i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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