wakey wakey hands off snakey
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
