I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
