some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
