He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
