this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
