Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
