is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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