hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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