Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
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