im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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